Determination

Every time I make an effort to move forward-- a tangible effort-- to my true college education, I feel enlivened. I become determined. To be more specific, when I make a phone call to a college, and speak to an admissions counselor or something similar, I feel myself coming alive, because I've just tasted becoming my own person by making moves to strengthen the possibility of getting to a college that fits my needs and desires. That's what I want; that's what I need. I'm sick of feeling stuck, and the right college is going to be my cure.

I hate that I have excuses, for why I didn't begin my college journey the first time... during Fall of 2010. What is it about me that makes things so hard to put in to real play? I wish I wasn't so hesitant. I'm going to change that; I'm going to follow my gut, without hesitation.

I'm ready for college-- for real college. I'm ready to stay in dorms, to make connections with amazing people who share my mission-- the mission to adopt a role in this world-- one that's productive, and helpful, and filled with truth. I'm ready to to have intense class discussions and debates. I want to understand the world; I want to understand myself; I want to understand people, and profound elements of life, like Love and Hope and Truth and Destiny and Freedom... I seek, knowledge through understanding. I want to be a truly independent being.

However, as I see myself write these words, I see that I must, as usual, bring myself more back down to earth. I see that no college alone can just give me these things; I have to make it happen, but that doesn't mean that any college will do either. It has to be a college where I am surrounded by individuals with visions like mine, and highly supportive and inspirational faculty. I want to be somewhere where I feel like I am making something out of myself. I want to be somewhere where I am truly free to gain, apply, and share whatever knowledge I want. I believe I can achieve this at St. John's.

I figure that people with similar personalities and desires are generally drawn to similar colleges; this is a key notion to my college choice. I want to go somewhere where people ended up at that particular college because they were drawn to it for the same reason I was-- for flexibility, freedom of knowledge, and other endless opportunities. This the chance